Yesterday

So much ran through my head yesterday...

I was thinking about how parents get upset with their children when they throw temper tantrums, or fits. I was thinking about how I still throw fits. As a matter of fact, I think I can out fit any two year old. The difference is that I've learned to keep my fits inside. I still get upset when I don't get my way. I still beg God to please, please, please do it this way! My way! Please! Please! Sometimes it's ok to ask God over and over again...in fact, sometimes it's the right thing to do. Except in those cases when you know better. You know it's selfish and you know it's not what is going to happen. You can see God's will and still you fight, fit, and throw hoping to get your way. So anyhow...when I see a child throwing a fit...I get it. I understand because sometimes I still do it. I've learned through 4 children, that being understanding in a fit is sometimes the thing to do...sometimes the best thing is to ignore, but it's not ok to throw a fit right back...which I'll also admit to doing (too often.)

I also was thinking about my faith. I was thinking... 'Do I expect to see Jesus when I die?' I think that's the definition of faith to me. When I die, will I be surprised to see Jesus, or will I expect him to be there? I thought...I expect him to be there...and if he's not, I'm going to look for Him until I find Him...

I was thinking about how when you have faith that your loved ones have gone to heaven and you will someday join them, it makes your heart softer as you go through life, but if you do not believe in a loving God, it makes your heart harder...I think that explains some older people you may know...

I was thinking that the weather was so beautiful that it made me sooo sad that my sister was gone...and I threw a little temper tantrum in the car telling God that she should be HERE! WITH ME! My WAY! ME! ME! ME! And I was a little mad at the beautiful day...then I finally gave it up to God...again. Then there was a lot of cloud cover later and I wanted the beautiful back...

I was thinking that heaven is home...and I was thinking that I'm not bold enough for Him. I'm not bold enough. I need to be bolder so that more people will meet us at home. More people will expect to see Jesus when they die.

I was thinking that it's funny when someone tells you that your children look like you...because maybe you don't think you're all that beautiful, but you sure think they are...they couldn't possibly look like you...look at them! Just look! Oh, they're so beautiful. So, that's how God must feel about His children... You've seen your kids misbehave and you've disciplined them... Then you've seen them at the end of the day sleeping. Did you see how beautiful they are? Then you know how God sees you beautiful even though you've done ugly things... He's sees you like you see your beautiful sleeping baby after they've had colic and refluxed their way through your night...and you still see all that beauty...then you take a picture because you just can't believe how beautiful that baby is and you have to show the world!

I think that's all I thought yesterday.

I'll Love You So - Above the Golden State

I feel the sun
It’s returned again
To chase the cold
Far away
I’m not alone
To fight the world I’m in
You gave me hope
For better days

I was searching for a friend like no other
I never thought You’d come my way

Everything I give to You
I’ll love You so
Everything I say or do
I’ll love You so

Look where we’ve come
How could I ever forget
Before Your love
My heart was dead
I was afraid
That my sun would set
But You stayed around
To lift my head

I was living my whole life undercover
Never dreamed I’d see Your face

Bad day

I had something of a bad day yesterday, just little stuff, but today is a whole new day. Don't you just love that? When you can go to bed and wake up to a brand new day. Put your bad day behind, wake up fresh in the morning. It's a gift we should never take for granted.


There were days that I prayed for just a plain old bad day. That doesn't make much sense, I bet. When my sister was in the hospital on life support...I just wanted a plain, old, regular bad day. That song 'Bad Day' would play over and over in my head and I would sob because I longed for a bad day, just a plain, simple, bad day. A day where I could wake up brand new in the morning and start again with a fresh outlook. Yesterday when things weren't going my way (is that the definition of a bad day?) I could smile about it. I knew that tomorrow would be a new day and that all the little stuff would be just fine...and it will...it will. So, sometime, you might want to give God a thank you for your bad day...because tomorrow will be a new one and He's the only one that can give you that. Good or bad, it will be a gift that you shouldn't take for granted.


I hope today is your new day.


-Susie

My Complaining Confession

Lately I've had an attitude problem...I know...you're so surprised (see, even my confessions are laced with sarcasm.) To be honest, it's been a rough road lately, but there's so much around me to be thankful for.

I get a deep pit in my stomach even writing this, because I know that I have so very much and that I've been just plain ugly about anything that doesn't go my way.

I'm gonna try harder. I'm going to keep Ephesians 4:29 in my heart.

Ephesians 4:29 - Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen.

I realize that complaining is sin. It's really easy to see when your kids are complaining...isn't it? It's so easy to see that when they complain that there's not enough cheese on their pasta, that it's sin...they're not being thankful, they don't appreciate what they have, THEY are complainers! That day I sat for 3 hours in front of that tomato slice, when I was 5, but refused to eat it...it's the same as me being upset that I can't have new carpet but instead have to pay for a bridge in my mouth. Poor me, right?

God's got to be saying, 'HEY! Seriously? You're going to complain that you have dental care and you get to have your teeth replaced, two blocks away...with novocaine AND you have the money to pay for it?'

Well, maybe He's not saying that exactly...

Please, forgive me God. I feel like I haven't grown in this area even a fraction of an inch since I was a little girl complaining about the wholesome food in front of me. I'm gonna try harder. Please help me realize it before I do it. I want to be someone who does not let any unwholesome talk come out of my mouth, but only speaks of what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen. Thank you, Father. Amen.

-Susie

Snow

Cindy would have just loved this snow... Weird weather always has made me think of my sister. She had one of those weather radios...I guess you could listen to weather updates from all over the country on it...I call that weather.com, but she had a special radio for it!

Dallas can go all winter without seeing a single flake, but this winter we are seeing record snowfall... These pictures are taken before the sun has come up. S and T couldn't wait. T was fully dressed and ready to go at 6:05a. They brought flashlights out with them to play. Poor kids don't even have the gear for this kind of weather. We put plastic grocery sacks around their feet and into their cold wet shoes to keep their toes dry.

I wonder how long this will last...better suit them all up to go out again before it melts away.